October 31, 2003

Dr Paisley and the Demilitarised Zone

After years of fighting and terrorism, everyone wants peace in Northern Ireland. Well, everyone except for Ian Paisley. As a major step in the continuing peace process stumbled, Rev. Dr Paisely boasted that God intervened.

A key part of the peace process is the Joint Declaration. Ian Paisley and his Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) do not like this document. As an official press release related to the November 26 Northern Ireland Assembly elections states:

Over the course of 3 entire pages, the Joint Declaration lays out in shocking detail how the Government intends to demilitarise Northern Ireland. Watchtowers are to be vacated and demolished. Helicopters are to be no longer used for operational purposes. The massive troop withdrawals can only lead to the phasing out of the home battalions of the Royal Irish Regiment.

If such shocking things happen, the Northern Ireland might become like any other part of the UK, where people don't firebomb each other and soldiers don't patrol the streets. However, Paisely believes that any concession to Catholics, such as political representation or fewer troops pointing guns at them from watchtowers, is the work of the Devil and the Pope. Reducing the size of the army in Northern Ireland is undoubtedly a papist plot to bring the United Kindgom back under the sway of Rome. I can almost hearing him saying it now.

I am terrible with accents and imitating voices. The only one I do with confidence is Ian Paisley. This is because the only thing that Rev. Dr. Paisley, MP, and the Catholics agree on is the evil which is abortion. I was privileged to be in the House of Commons on 24th April 1990 when a bill slightly reducing the maximum gestation for a legal abortion was being debated. Opponents of the bill suggested that it was a Catholic measure, as it was introduced and heavily supported by certain Catholic MPs. Rev. Paisley rose and declared, "I doubt whether I will be accused in this debate of being Roman Catholic."

The House erupted with laughter.

Posted by david at October 31, 2003 11:50 PM | TrackBack

But our Ian _is_ Orthodox!!! Or has strong sympathies. See his website www.ianpaisley.org.

The logic is:

1. The Pope is the Devil incarnate.
2. Therefore, anyone who opposes the Pope must be on the side of God.
3. The Patriarch of Moscow is on record as opposing the Pope's machinations in Russia.
4. Therefore, Orthodoxy is on the side of God.
5. QED.


Posted by: Thomas Garland at November 1, 2003 11:45 PM

Sorry, I should have given a more specific reference for Paisley's Orthodox sympathies. have a look at


for an example.


Posted by: Thomas Garland at November 1, 2003 11:54 PM

Perhaps Dr Ian will invite Patriarch Alexis to preach next? ;-)

Posted by: Havdala at November 3, 2003 02:03 PM

Ian only likes us because our patriarch opposes Rome. He doesn't take into consideration that the biggest reason he opposed Rome is to protct his own turf.

He also rails against every doctrine which we hold in common, or even in similarity, with Rome, e.g., the intercessory prayers of the Church in heaven, the veneration of images, the veneration of the Most Holy Theotokos, Holy Orders, the True Body and Blood of our Lord in the Eucharist. If he likes us, it is only because he doesn't know us.

But you are correct: he will side with anyone who will side against Rome for any reason.

Posted by: David Holford at November 3, 2003 09:14 PM

My friend in Edinburgh lives downstairs from some Paisleyites. Every few days she used find the ikon she had on her door removed and pushed through her letterbox with a tract telling her she needed saving from the wiles of Rome. One day she confronted them and said she was Orthodox which utterly bamboozled them and they decided as she isn't Catholic her ikon can't be idolatrous, just decorative, but she still gets the tracts!

Posted by: Havdala at November 4, 2003 11:18 AM

To take down someone religious object from their door takes a lot of cheek, even if it were idolatrous. But then again, we are talking about people who were happy to take over Northern Ireland.

Posted by: David Holford at November 5, 2003 01:18 PM