David's Daily Diversions

Today I got stranded in

Today I got stranded in the city centre. The Holford crate-on-wheels suffered another set-back. The ignition has been dodgy for a while. It sometimes takes five minutes to get the switch turned. When I left the flat, it took about ten minutes to get it started. Hmm, I thought, I should probably get that looked at while I'm out and about. It was inconvenient to do this first thing, so I headed off to the city centre to drop off a bag of clothes and a set of saucepans at a charity shop. Age Concern has gotten most of our stuff – not because we care that much about old people, but rather because they are the shortest journey from the car while carrying heavy bags of clothes. (Okay, we do care about old people, but that’s still the reason.)

When I got back in the car, it wouldn’t start. Not just for five minutes. Not just for ten minutes. For an hour. Hmm, I thought, I’d better let Mrs Holford know where I am. She will think that I’ve already been to the old flat, cleaned out the garage, and merely found myself stuck in traffic. Unfortunately, I had left the mobile phone at home. (It doesn’t have any time left on the pay-as-you-go, but I needed to buy a card anyway.) So I had to use a pay phone.

I only had a pound coin. Phone boxes don’t give change. And, as I found out, neither do shopkeepers. I went into the City News and asked for change for my pound coin. I was told that they only give change to customers. I shot back that I supposed I wouldn’t become one of those. Well, actually, I thought about saying that, but I didn’t think of it until 15 minutes later. I was, however, just a wee bit irritated. I walked all the way up to my bank at the other end of High Town and got my five 20p coins for a pound.

For most of the day, I thought this was just another example of how unhelpful most shop staff are in this country. If you are coming to Britain and expect to find shops where staff are happy to see you and wish you a nice day when you leave, you will be sorely disappointed. Now that Wal-Mart has opened a store in Bristol, I wonder if they have hired old people to stand at the door next to the shopping trolleys just to ignore customers.

What I later found out from Mrs Holford (who has experience working in shops) is that the banks here charge for providing change to businesses. That’s right. You need £100 in £20 notes? No problem. That’ll be £100. Need £100 in coins? That’ll be £100 plus something for our trouble. If I was a shopkeeper, that would put me in a bad mood, too.

UK banks charge individuals much less than in the US. We don’t have monthly service charges or fees for writing cheques. But banks being banks, they are going to fleece someone. In the UK, they stick it to businesses, charging them even for depositing cheques. That’s right. Deposit money in your business account so the bank can make money by lending it out, and the bank will charge you for the privilege. The more you give them to play with, the more they will charge.

Anyhow, if you want to know how the story ends… I rang Mrs Holford. She and the man-child got a taxi and brought the spare set of keys. These keys never worked before. Mrs Holford sat down in the driver’s seat and the key turned perfectly. Just figures, doesn’t it?