David's Daily Diversions

Dealing with a toddler is

Dealing with a toddler is like trying to follow in the path of a tornado, tidying up as you go along. As much as we have tried to toddler-proof our flat, certain things have to be out to be used on a regular basis.

Other things that are in use cannot be forgotten by momentary distractions in another part of the home. If we forget them, we can rest assured Aidan hasn’t and he has been waiting patiently to pounce on them. Given his fascination with beverage receptacles of any kind, it is open season on any glass, cup, mug, or bottle left less than three feet above floor level. That is, unless there is an adjacent climbing device, in which case we might as well be hanging things from the ceiling on a very short string.

Though Aidie is getting very good a drinking without the aid of a sippy lid, he hasn’t mastered this skill to perfection. It seems this week has consisted of a series of spilled drinks and various mopping efforts, depending on the floor surface underneath at the time.

And mopping efforts are not confined to the various drink offerings poured out. One of the major entertainments at bath time is the ritual throwing of the toys onto the adjoining floor. This is not some sort of tantrum. There is careful planning in how to throw the object past Daddy and get the best distance. He has even discovered the art of faking and feigning. Aidan may have a future scoring penalty kicks for one of the three national teams for which he is eligible to play. We have now gotten to the stage where the various parts of his favourite toy (the tug boat with three people, three lift rafts, a smokestack, and a raised deck that doubles as a second little boat) all exit the bathtub quickly to get down to the big prize: the washcloth. It doesn’t go far, but it splatters lots of water when it hits the tiles below.

I only have one news item today, and as the parent of a toddler, this is a story to which I can readily relate and have included in full:

PARIS (Reuters) - Two French three-year-old twin boys who disappeared from home then reappeared hours later without their clothes had been off wreaking havoc in a neighbour's empty house.

Police initially feared an abduction by a paedophile when the missing boys were discovered late in the evening walking through their home town of Deols, western France, stark naked and holding a bedside lamp, newspapers said on Thursday.

But a call from a neighbour to report a suspected burglary revealed the boys had broken into a nearby house and gone berserk, emptying out drawers, bouncing on beds, scribbling on walls and gobbling up orange-flavoured vitamin pills.

The twins discarded their clothes after getting covered in shampoo and toothpaste after a rampage through the bathroom, squeezing out bottles and tubes.

They grabbed a bedside light and took it away with them thinking it would help them find their way home in the dark.

The boys' parents will compensate the house owners, daily Liberation said. It did not say how they would punish the twins.